Dear Social Security- My Sister Is Not Dead…

 So this was a fun one! My littlest sister and I were sitting at the dinning room table chatting when I opened a letter read in the vain of “NBD- your sisters dead.”


I just looked over at her. Then looked at the letter. Then back at her and said, “You look pretty good for a dead girl.” She was confused. At first, I thought it was a bad joke… but it wasn’t. We quickly stopped getting survivors benefits for her from Social Security. I called the social security general number and waited on hold for an hour for someone to finally confirm that she was listed as deceased. I would have to take her in to the local social security office to show them that she’s alive. The next available appointment- two months away.

Waiting for the appointment to roll around lead to one problem after the next. First she couldn’t get her drivers permit that she has been studying really hard for because guess what- dead people can’t drive.

Then I got a letter from my health insurance saying that they were not going to cover that dental appointment she just had because guess what- dead people shouldn’t worry about oral hygiene.

We have a trip to London coming up over the holidays and we need to renew our passports but we couldn’t send in the passport for renewal because guess what- dead people can’t travel… unless they are in a casket.

Luckily she’s a minor so it didn’t effect her credit report or shut down her bank accounts- that’s right social security updates all the credit bureaus when you pass away.

Apparently this happens to about 9,000 people a year and it usually someone associated with a person who has recently passed. Someone at a desk, on their computer, in a massive government office, simply clicked the wrong box and voila- this person killed my sister… legally anyways.

We tried to make light of it. We all came up with ideas for how she went. Jasper went with a gruesome murder while i said it was peacefully in her sleep. We told her if she wanted to go live under the radar in a shake on the mountains now’s the moment. Poppy was a really good sport about holding off on her drivers permit and we ultimately had to take a day off of work and school to get this all sorted out.

I brought my sister back to life on her 16th birthday and then we went to Disneyland!


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