Only person I have ever met with stubbornness able to match if not beat my own is my baby sister. Heck that girl really knows how to give me a run for my money. We both have our reasons for our opinions. We are both willing to stand up for what we think is right. We usually work things through to get to these opinions. But when we clash- all bets are off!
Logic goes out the window. There are more than enough counter arguments. It’s no longer about winning but making sure the other person looses.
Growing up, when I used to do this- my dad would tell me he couldn’t wait to see me with my own kids. I really didn’t think I’d be dealing with karma this soon.
Daddy I’m sorry. I really really really think you handled it so well. I’m trying to live up to the example you gave me. Its not easy. We really should consider sainthood for you. You got three daughters through the beginning of adolescence- if that’s not three miracles please tell me what is.
So far it’s been little things but this time it was something that mattered. She doesn’t want to row this year. She told this to me via text.
Are you kidding me.
My baby sister vs. Me
1. It’s too much of a change right now- She’s been wanting to start this for the last two years. This has been a very slowly approaching change.
2. She wants to stay around her close long term friends. She felt the girls on the team are already in close cliques.- She has wonderful amazing friends. They love her and care about her. I understand that some of the girls on the team may already know each other but it’s only been a week they will all start to warm up once they become a team.
3. She doesn’t want to be a charity case.- When our dad was dying she asked to live with me and she wanted to be able to row. It’s not a cheap sport so when people asked if we needed financial help I asked them to contribute to the rowing club to support the twins new endeavor and keep our fathers legacy alive. I’m 26. I don’t make enough for all of the add ons. I can pay rent (not at our current appartment). I can supply food. But honestly, even that is hard. I don’t like accepting assistance either but if someone offers I need to say thank-you and be very grateful Heck- I applied for food stamps. That wasn’t part of my life plan. We are not a charity case but we do need the support in whatever shape or form from our family, friends, and community in order to make this all possible.
I also pointed out that when I’m back at work I will have long film industry hours. On an average night I’ll be home at 8pm. Charlotte waits tables at night. I can’t have her home alone from 2pm-8pm. That’s not okay. I need to know that she is safe and being productive.
I have done so many things for her to make both of her requests possible and she couldn’t give it more then a week to see how it would be once she transitioned. Allowance- gone. Social privileges- grounded for life. Electronics- as for as she’s concerned she lives in a cave till her twin comes back from practice. Charity- guess that gifted trip to disneyland is out, christmas in England too, oh and Boston next summer… good luck saving up the allowance you’re not getting. Bedroom- she get the living room, her room is now mine. Good bye couch. I’m moving on up. I mean come on, why have we all been working so hard to make sure she’s confortable when she can’t even give this one thing she finds uncomfortable at first a good old school try.
Finally after 24 hours of WWIII- I called for a seise fire. This was the hard part… getting us both to a place where we didn’t have sly, quick witted remarks ready to fire.
“Im calling a troose… but you actually have to listen.”
I start with, “I have a plan that has no consiquences but I need you to actually listen.”
I went through her point and actually brought up solutions rather then counter arguments. Basically the way I handle things with everyone else but family.
My baby sister and I
1. It’s too much of a change right now- A lot has been changing and by a lot I mean everything. It’s okay to draw the line.
2. She wants to stay around her close long term friends. She felt the girls on the team are already in close cliques.- Maybe being around close old friends is a good idea for right now. How about next summer I sign her up for the summer camp so that she can be more prepared for tryouts while meeting some girls that will be on the team in less competitive environment. This way she knows some people from day one and has some more confidence.
3. She doesn’t want to be a charity case.- The people making this possible are the people that loved our dad- they’re helping him. We are an extension of him.
I’m not working right now so I can move my life around to be available. I talked to a mum from the friday night group that said we can all make it work so my baby sister isn’t alone once I’m back in the office. Fingers crossed that happens soon.