No I did not do this to her. She did this to herself.
My mother is a topic I generally try to avoid. She’s not a subject I really want to focus on. I was appointed guardianship of the twins over her. It is not something that needs to be lingered on or something I’m particularly proud of. But sometimes we do things because they are right. Watching my mother be served papers was hard but worth making sure the twins have everything they need emotionally and physically. I did not do this to her. I did this for the twins.
Today I called a mom of one of the twins friends who is also rowing to try and set up a car pool. This sport is five days a week. Right now I’m not working full time but I like to think I will be soon. I need to set up a car pool. She didn’t want to commit to anything yet and then she asked, “Why are you doing this? You did this to her.”
As a lawyer recently told me, “Sometimes the best relationship you can have with a parent is none at all.”
This kids mom said that she thought the twins being with our mom would make her better. That is not a reason to parent. You parent to be a responsible reliable force in a child’s life. You do it to be a rock while they figure out how to navigate our unstable world. The home can’t be unstable- the home needs to be a safe place.
“I’ve lost sleep over your mothers situation.” she explained to me. Oh honey you have no idea.
I thanked the woman for being my mother’s friend.